Undies for Days!

I've begun to think I have another superpower. I have no control over it, but I do have power beyond the everyday. Here's what happens: if I start getting my hair cut by a female hairdresser, and she is in her childbearing years, I can bet she will be pregnant within six months or after about my third haircut. If the hairdresser is male, he will break up with his significant other within and move away the same amount of time. I have been responsible for about six children and four trashed relationships.I am sorry and you are welcome.


Aside from my sperm hair and relationship destroyer personality, I have power over factories in other countries. Every time I find undies or bra that I like, if I say out loud that I've found some dainties that I like, I can guarantee they will stop being made before I need to replace them. I mean, I know styles change but I'm talking whole brands. Now, since most clothing is made abroad, I'm pretty sure I've put a whole bunch of people out of work. Once again - I apologize.


I think my mom had the same superpower. She had a really hard to find bra size ( I get the destructo - karma, the giant - still -perky-at-seventy-five boobs pass me right by...). Whenever she found a good deal in her size she'd buy a couple and stash them. After she died and we were going through her things, my sister counted twenty-six brand new bras with the tags still attached. These were just the ones that she hadn't put into rotation yet. She had a few in the laundry, too. My mom must have destroyed factories, too! A connection to my family tree. Who knows how many generations have been affected by our superpower.?


There are probably whole branches of family trees that have been spawned by my family's fertile follicles. I just hope I didn't cause any kids to be born into families I've put out of work!The calming news is that my kids didn't seem to inherit the either power. My daughter has gorgeous hair which blocks x-rays and my son can grow a full beard in less than a week but so far no pregnancies or relationship strife that I know of. We are a unique race...

Meanwhile, any time I buy new frillies and tell my hubby that they are comfy or I like them for some other reason, he starts sniffing the air and says " I smell a factory on fire...". I just got some new undies that seem pretty good. I'll have to see how they do in the wash, but signs are looking positive. I'm not saying anything out loud - If I burn down another factory, I'll really get my undies in a bunch...