The Party's Over...

Well, baseball season ended today. Sigh. No more Giants games til March 4 when they start broadcasting Cactus League games. Now its just football and the ass-cam shots of guys in white pants. Football's ok but the tickets are too expensive to justify sitting in the really good seats. So we watch on tv and kvetch about how much we miss baseball. Complaining hits a fever pitch in February after the Super Bowl when football is done and all we're left with is basketball and golf.

I realize that a lot of people think basketball is a great game. They are wrong. Here is why; basketball is unnatural. In order to be really good at it, you have to have a pituitary malfunction or abnormally springy legs. Or you have to have known how to perform well in front of your dumbass high school coach who put Judy Schultz back in with a sprained wrist instead of you or Laura Miller who were both fresh as daisies. And you were taller. You have to get past everybody laughing at you when you finally try a layup and you don't even hit the backstop.


Basketball is a stupid game but DON'T get me started on golf. I really think Tiger Woods is a cool guy, but golf - really? Who in Scotland thought that up? Probably some woman with an annoying husband who she tried to get rid of for the day by telling him that a good way to get rid of gophers was to hit rocks into their holes with a stick. He wasn't especially smart so he went with it. Then all his friends got into the game.

Pretty soon there were Tournaments and Opens and announcers whispering on the sidelines. The women in Scotland were happy. The men thought they had a special secret. The way I see it, the only losers were the gophers who are very unhappy in Scotland and they have bumpy heads. I wish Tiger could hit a baseball like he does a golf ball.- the Giants could use a bat.


I don't love hockey either, but once at a Seals game, a hockey player flipped me a puck. Those were my college days when I didn't need makeup and everything was perky. Also just about all the interesting stuff was several inches higher and thus visible over the rail to a guy going by fast on skates wearing a face guard. I have warm feelings for hockey - and I still have my puck!

So today we're watching football. Its cool that for breast cancer awareness, the players could opt to wear touches of pink on their uniforms. I think you can tell who the REAL men are because they are the ones wearing pink shoes or wristbands or hat brims on the sidelines. Its very cool but it does look kind of girly. But awesome - really, really awesome. Gosh, I miss baseball...