The Evil Empire

The Phillies just beat the Yankees in World Series game 5. I'm rooting for the Phillies even though they're kind of named after girl horses. I've always thought of them as the My Little Ponies of baseball. The Yankees are just so businesslike. There's no joyous abandon in their play. Its a job and they're good at it but they're not fun to watch.

Plus, have you taken a look at their pitching staff? Those are some seriously large men! Phil Coke pitched in relief tonight and he looks like he shops in the "husky" section at Sears. I think you can actually see C. C. Sebathia from space when he's on the mound. Its nice to know that you can eat ice cream and still play professional sports but he looks unhealthy to me. I like skinny pitchers like Tim Lincecum and Randy Johnson. Pitchers should look like scarecrows, With hats.

Catchers need to be chunky so they can block the plate. They need to look solid. Like anchors. Pitchers should be limber. Outfielders can be solid, but they have to be able to run. Same with infielders. The main thing is they should look like they're having fun. I saw only one smile in the last two games in the New York dugout. That was on Nick Swisher's face and I think its because he used to play here in California. I really wish Nick Swisher wasn't a Yankee because he's a really cool guy and a lot of fun to watch.

Anyway, the Series goes back to New York now. Now the Yankees will have home field advantage. They'll probably win. They'll jump around and spray each other with champagne and have a parade. Sigh. It will look like its supposed to look, but it will just feel wrong. Someday the Giants will win it all and they'll do it right!