The Evil Empire II

Sitting here watching the Yankees throttle the Phillies makes me think about lots of things I'd rather be doing including, but not limited to: oral surgery, a colonoscopy, emptying my dog's anal glands, touching a worm...You get the picture. I really don't like the Yankees. Or the Dodgers. I think its attitudinal. As in they have a big one and it bugs me.

I guess if you make a living off your innate talent, you have to have a pretty high opinion of yourself. Especially if you are the best at what you do. Which the Yankees and the Dodgers are - darn it. I have a really good friend who is a gifted artist but she has no attitude. I think its because she doesn't sell her art. Yet. She's starting to get noticed up in Oregon in her town, though, and people are interested in showing her art. If she starts selling her stuff - I'll probably have to go up there and dope slap her. You know, as a friend.

I don't have a very high opinion of myself but I was getting an attitude one day. Driving to Big Lots, where I go frequently to replace my ear buds that the kitten likes better than anything labeled "cat toy". I was overcome with a wave of hatred for the people who took my job from me. Through my gritted teeth, I actually hissed "I hate them" as I was getting out of the car. Suddenly, I felt a big dope slap on the back of my head that nearly knocked me to my knees right there in the parking lot. I looked around and saw nobody standing there. I realized - it was God.

God was right there making sure I didn't get swallowed up in negativity. I didn't know God was a fan of the Stooges! And I know the old saw - don't spend time on hate - life's too short. Well, I've got lots of time on my hands, and nothing to do with it. It would be really easy to become a real hateful curmudgeonly, crabby old lady. God's just making sure I don't lose my nice self to my Yankees baseball player self which simmers somewhere below the surface.

Probably the Yankees are nice, too, if I got to know them. I would rather eat dirt but I might get surprised. You never know. Anyway, I'm thinking of trying to make a living by just my wits now so I'll probably get dope slapped again. Maybe more than once...