Food Porn

I am getting waaaay too excited about Sunday. We always have a bunch of neighbors over and we eat like people who have been starving. We don't look like them, but we eat like - have you ever seen a really hungry dog go after a bowl of food? We eat like that. The "food" (and I use the term loosely) we eat is almost totally devoid of nutritional value. Unless you count fat, salt and rodent hairs as nutrients.


The deliciousness factor is something else again, though. This stuff is yummy to the tenth power. We will be having cream cheese and jalapeno poppers. There's going to be a cheese and sausage plate with little toothpicks to pick stuff up! Also, buffalo chicken nuggets with bleu cheese sauce. I'm cooking up mini corn dogs for my surrogate grandson 'cause he's a mini guy and I'd fry up crack patties for him if he wanted me to.

What I'm really looking forward to is the shrimp balls which, despite their name, are actually about the size of ping pong balls and so good you have to eat about twelve of them to convince yourself you're not dreaming. They come from a place called King Egg Roll. They make egg rolls, too, but their shrimp balls are primo. I guess they call themselves King Egg Roll because King Shrimp Ball would be weird.

For those making a stab at health (wimps), I'm making yogurt cheese with garlic and herbs,and there will be vegetables and Triscuits to spread it on. Triscuits are supposed to be the one of least unhealthy of the crackers. Plus I love them.

There will be brownies, because what food orgy is complete without brownies? I might even frost them if I'm in the mood. We've already got a giant bag of peanut M&M's. They're our favorite.

This goes against everything we've learned at Fat Camp, but they said if you know you're going to have a heavy meal you need to plan ahead. I've been planning for three weeks. I've been a paragon of good eating habits and healthful behavior. Walking, riding my bike, going to the gym. I've been amazing. And I can't stop thinking about shrimp balls.

Of course there will be lots of beer, wine and soda. Chips and dip, too. Oh yeah, my neighbor's bringing seven layer dip. And the hub wants to make chili which I want to use to dip Fritos in.
After I melt Velveeta into it. Love me some chili con queso. I can't wait! Oh, yeah, there's a football game on, too...