Ewwwwwwww!

Once again, glued to the Olympics. I just saw something really gross, though. No, it wasn't Dick Button in a leotard - but almost as bad. They were showing two-man bobsled and the American sled number one was getting ready to go. They show a lot of the prep from a low mounted camera which I have named the ass cam. It tends to show a particularly unflattering angle of the bobsledders.

Now, bobsledding is a sport where its important to be aerodynamic so they naturally wear tight racing suits. But bobsledders aren't shaped like traditional athletes. Say,for example, your Shani Davis, or your Apolo Ohno. You know, slim and muscular. Sledders might have muscles, but its hard to see them under the flab.

The pilot of the American 1 sled backed up to the ass cam and, though it was horrifying, I couldn't look away. His butt filled the whole frame and was astonishingly well defined in his stretchy suit.I threw up a little bit in my mouth. They raced pretty well (lots of ballast), then this enormous fellow hoisted himself out of his sled and I saw something I never want to see again. His suit was pulled so tight around his gut that you could see through it. I actually could discern his belly button and tummy hairs. Ew.

I was tempted, but I didn't look farther south. Didn't want to burn my corneas. Here's the deal - I know the suits have to be tight, but they should have to fit, too. Dude was so crammed into that thing it looked more like a casing than a racing suit. Maybe he misunderstood the instructions.

The women have problems with tight suits, too. I saw a video of a woman training and they were using the ass cam. This poor lady was getting ready to start her run and the back seam of her suit gave out. The ass cam captured the whole debacle. Fortunately the woman is in great shape and has a really nice ass, but she was only wearing a thong and the audience got a little too up close and personal. I think they use that super glue on the seams instead of sewing them just like those swimsuits that failed so spectacularly in the summer Olympic trials.

On second thought, they must use more than glue or that American pilot guy would have been stark raving nekkid by the end of the race. He was probably sewn, glued, roped, stapled and twist tied into that thing. Its a good thing, too, NBC would have lost advertising revenue if the ass cam had captured him in all his glory. Or a thong. Ewwww.