Cheddar Bay

So the hub and I were watching the tube and an ad came on about a restaurant that serves "Cheddar Bay" biscuits. We were intrigued. "Cheddar Bay?" We want to go there - to the Cheese Islands... We want to swim in Cheddar Bay and catch fish crackers and eat them. In our world, Cheddar Bay is part of the Fondue Sea which washes the base of the Fromage Mountains.

The little town of Gruyere nestles hard by Cheddar Bay. In Gruyere, the sun shines year round in the bleu sky. The people of Gruyere, most named some form of Jack, spend their days fishing or working in the curd and whey factory. A cottage industry, the C&W Factory provides a comfortable living for the people of Gruyere.

After you leave Gruyere, follow the Rennet River upstream to the town of Parmesean, where the population, though aged and nutty, remains salty and a bit tart. In fact, their wit is such that they've been known to shred a visitor sharply enough to curdle their hair.

Travel the Emmenthaler Highway through the herb forest and over the Havarti Hills until you reach the lovely town of Camembert. Its population is soft and pale. A result of spending large amounts of time in the local mold spa, where the powdery, white fungus grows on them, the residents of Camembert are a slow moving lot and they enjoy wine.

On your way home, stop in the town of Marscapone where the people are all rich but sweet. You'll enjoy a trip to the Tiramisu Mall where you can get a ladyfinger massage and a cup of coffee. Then back to your cheese wagon and over Gorgonzola Gorge to catch the ferry back to the mainland.

Wave goodbye to the happy Gruyerians! Yes, they are a homogenophilic lot, but all in all your trip will be sharp and you'll never forget the smell! On the way home you'll pass the far flung island of Velveeta. The Velveetans claim to be members of the Cheese Islands. This is an ongoing dispute, an one that seems not to be able to be settled by Super Bowl Sunday, which better get here soon because the hub and I are going batty - and the jokes just get cheesier...