Tiger Likes the Tail

I've been hearing a lot lately about this golfer guy, code named "Tiger" who can't seem to figure out how to work the zipper on his pants. I mean, sure he can get it down just fine but he doesn't seem to be able to keep it up. The zipper. Everything else apparently stays up just fine - over and over again.

What really ticks me off about this whole situation, and I feel I have a right to weigh in here since I'm bombarded ad nauseum with details on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, is that I really like tigers. One of my favorite places at the San Francisco Zoo is the Big Cat house at feeding time. They don't do that any more since one of the tigers chewed off the arm of one of the trainer/feeders. Still, I think tigers beyond cool especially when they growl. The hub and I went to the zoo on the first day it opened after Tatiana the tiger chewed up that kid on Christmas a few years ago. I felt bad for the kid and his family but also that poor tiger since she got killed for basically just doing what tigers do.

Apparently, golfer Tiger was just doing what Tiger does, too. A lot! But I have no sympathy for him. In fact, I think he should change his name to Horndog. There's something else I don't understand. Now, it seems like a skeevy guy who cheats on his wife would pick a mistress based on looks. Affairs have never seemed to me to be intellectual pursuits. I mean, if you're gonna go, you might as well go for the fantasy, right? Have you ever seen a picture of that guy's wife? She looks like the person you cheat with - not on. I don't get it. She's Swedish, for Pete's sake. Geez...

Plus, Tiger's wandering private parts have been all over the news. So much so that today I actually heard a news person opining on Tiger's response to the scandal. They compared it to the Dave Letterman and Alex Rodriguez "models" for dealing with their similar situations. And Jenny Sanford filed for divorce today so her idiot husband can do all the "hiking" on whatever "trails" he wants. I'm beginning to fear for civilization.

There's an irony here. Tigers last name is Woods. I always felt that was kind of cute based on the fact that he was a golfer and they use woods to hit balls. Now there's a whole new connotation. The balls go into holes and, oh golly, this just goes on, doesn't it? The jokes just write themselves. I wonder if there was any teabagging involved...