Superhero!

I've decided that the world needs a new superhero. Really, Michelle Obama can only do so much. She's committed to the cause but she's just one woman. Granted, she has arms that look like they were carved out of mahogany and she looks fantastic in dresses, but she can't do it alone. What she can't do alone is fight obesity to the death and leave it in the dust.

Now that I've lost my flab, I'm in danger of being one of those totally obnoxious people who has been won over to a new lifestyle and can't shut up about it. Its been good to read about the First Lady's organic garden and that she's involving local school kids in the project. I'd like to get the grownups straightened out and de flabbed. And that's where the superhero comes in. I could be the Arterial Avenger. I'd be like Batman. I mean, he has no actual powers, he just uses his smarts. I'm smart. I could make it work.


I'd show up at fast food places or Buffet joints. Armed with nothing more than my, well, arms - I'd go into a full belly slide across tables, my cape flapping in the breeze. As I passed by people, slapping fatty foods out of their hands before they could get them to their lips, I'd dodge their forks and save their arteries from certain hardening and plaque buildup.


My hub could be my trusty sidekick. he'd pass out statin drugs and referrals to cardiologists. He'd remove forks from where they penetrated my awesome superhero suit and put band aids on my boo boos. He would just generally be his awesome self. After I saved everybody from their unhealthy food choices, I'd stand on a table, pick fried shrimp out of my hair and explain how they were ruining their arteries and how to eat healthily.


I think Michelle and I could work together and solve the nation's obesity problem for good. That might solve much of the health care conundrum, too. Yes, she might seem sane while I would probably come off as a complete idiot, but our point would be made, the nation would be healthy, and then we could go out for fries. I heard Michelle loves fries...