Strange As It Seems

The oddest thing happened last night. This is something that has not happened to me in, well, in my lifetime. I'm 54 and there are very few firsts left for me, but last night I had one and it was kind of fun! The thing that happened to me last night was the most unusual thing in forever. I was dainty. When I was little being dainty was what all female people were supposed to aspire to.

I saw an old deodorant ad from a 1940's magazine which indicated that daintiness equaled smelling good. My little girl self equated it with wearing a pretty dress and socks with lace on them. My friend, Kim, was dainty. I was not. She had blond perfect hair and wore gingham shorts sets. I had a brown nest on my head and wore cut off jeans and t-shirts. There was nothing dainty about me. Partly because I didn't get the whole matching socks and hair bows thing and I loved a good fart joke.

Last night, though, the daintiness fairy came to roost. A guy from the hub's work is transferring to another park so we went to a brew pub in Hayward for a goodbye bash. We were a party of 12 so we didn't expect to get seated right away, but after waiting an hour and a half for a table and finding out that the toilets had all backed up...we activated the "abort" sequence and walked a few blocks to La Imperial, a really dive-y Mexican place that serves burritos the size of newborn babies.

There's a waiter there who is also the floor show. The dining room (and I use the term loosely) is pretty big and we were one of about three groups in there. This waiter, Uncle Ron, had lots of time to spend with us. And spend time he did. He was having so much fun being corny and telling stories that the other patrons started serving themselves drinks and chips. We had a lot of fun, too, and the food was fattening and delicious.

My daintiness moment came towards the end of the evening when things had degenerated into a joke telling round robin. My hub knows endless jokes and one-liners and he was in fine form. Then Uncle Ron asked if anybody minded adult jokes. Of course we all said "no" so he told one. It was pretty filthy and this is when it happened...I blushed.

Apparently, it was a pretty good blush because Uncle Ron apologized to me. The ironic thing is that I have a repertoire of some of the crudest jokes known to peoplekind. I could make an army barracks blush! If you have any knowledge of dirty jokage, you'll recognize some of my favorite punchlines: "Get off the table, Mable, the two bucks is for the beer.", "If you'd get your tits out of the ashtray you wouldn't have heartburn" and "Move over, girls, I've gotta gargle". But I blushed!

I felt like such a girly girl. It was fun. I actually think I blushed less because I was shocked at the joke content and more because I wasn't expecting it. Also I had never heard that particular joke before. I will use it in the future, though - it was a goody. Without going into too much detail, the punchline was "Medium". You had to be there. If you had been you'd have seen me blush. Because for a brief moment, I was dainty...