Stages

Ok, so I'm working through the loss of my job and I've discovered that this "stages of grief" business is really true! I've lost people in my life but it was expected each time and, though it was hard I was able to make sense of these passings.

This job loss has me over a barrel, though. First - I was not expecting it. I didn't have a clue I was about to be canned until the canner showed up at my house and did the deed. I'm supposed to have been in denial and I suppose I was since I kept thinking I was going to get my job back in a week or so. Didn't happen. Then I was supposed to be angry. I am. I thought I'd get past this as quickly as I got past denial. Nope. I'm still really ticked. And sad - profoundly sad.

I'm supposed to hold on to my faith during this time, talk to my minister. Did I mention that I was fired from my church? Yeah, this talking to my ministerfaith thing ain't gonna happen. I'm still in the flipping-the-place- off-whenever-you-drive-by stage.

They don't mention in anything I've read about the behaving immaturely phase of grief. I'm stuck there,too. Tonight we're going to the Giants game to see my favorite pitcher, Timmy Lincecum (sound of angel choir). There is a homeless lady by the bridge on the way to the park who has a dog and a cat. I always give her money for her pets but tonight I'm going to surprise her and give her 5 sweatshirts with my former place of employment's logo on them. She can wear them, wrap the animals in them, clean up dog barf with them, whatever she wants as long as I never have to look at them again.