Athletes are Different From Me

We went to the Giants game on Friday night. I love going to the Giants games for a number of reasons not the least of which is that half the team is the same age as my kids! No, its not my inner broad they appeal to but my inner mommy. Its like a t-ball team that's all grown up! They're just so (sorry fellas) darn cute! I want to bake them cookies and put band-aids on their boo boos and stuff like that. Its hard not to want to take care of kids that remind you of your own kids.

For instance, a few weeks ago, my favorite pitcher, Tim Lincecum, hurt his back and had to miss one of his starts. He's fun to watch because he looks so unassuming and then POW he explodes in a strikeout.. Anyway, we were at the ballpark a few days after his missed start and I was a little bored with the game so I took some binocs and started scanning. I checked out the crowd then fixed my attention on the dugout.


There was a clump of Giants leaning over the rail watching the game and there was Timmy right in mid clump dangling his arms over the rail. I watched him like a stalker for a minute then he grabbed the top of the rail, put his feet on the bottom of it and s-t-r-e-c-h-e-d. Then he turned around, leaped up, grabbed the top of the dugout and dangled for a few seconds. Done dangling he sat on the bench. I was distracted by the game as somebody hit a ball or something. I looked back in the dugout and there was Timmy, feet on the bench, sitting on the shelf on the back. Last I saw he appeared to be perched on the shelf like a big, skinny, long-haired vulture ready to descend on a rotting carcass.

It was all I could do not to march onto the field right over to Bruce Bochy, give him a dope slap upside the side of the head and say "Give that kid a ball and let him throw it! He's making ME twitchy and I'm not even sitting in the good seats!" Geez...

I differ from Tim Lincecum in many ways, but chiefly in my reaction to being idle. I could turn pro at sitting in my recliner. I resent having to get out of it sometimes - even if its because I have to go to the bathroom ("Stupid bladder...")

I'm also clumsy since my stroke. If I tried to jump up and dangle from the dugout, I'd lose my balance and take out half the outfield when I fell. Why just yesterday, I was loading the solar dryer (clothesline) when I stepped back and tripped on a loose rock. Balance gone, I windmilled my arms, shouted something like "Aaagh, aaagh!" and went down on my butt in the plumbago. Now, if I'd had small children, intelligent pets, or a husband who wasn't watching football, somebody might have run out to help me. As it was, while I was taking stock, Beatrice the long-haired tuxedo kitty marched out to where I was sitting, dope slapped me upside the head and told me to calm down I was making her twitchy. Well it seemed like that's what she meant when she said "Meow" and gave me that look.

The plumbago survived, Timmy's back got better, and I wasn't even sore from my tumble! The solar dryer got bent pretty bad, though, apparently I grabbed one of the lines when I went down and, since its made of aliminum, it couldn't support me. We mostly straightened it back out and it works ok. After all, it just has to hang out in the backyard and hold clothes. Its not like it has to play baseball or anything...