The Worst of Times, The Best of Times

Ever since I was canned from my job, Ive gone through periods of being OK to periods of being pretty darn depressed. I worked at a school and I suppose its only natural since I spent 20 years at that place, it became rather thoroughly entwined with my life and I got close to the kids. I spent lots of time even on my time off doing things, shopping, writing, for that place or thinking about ways to improve it. I was dedicated.

So when they told my they no longer wanted me to work there, I was poleaxed. After I cried my eyeballs out, I decided to purge the place from my belongings. Every year at that stupid place, we would order sweatshirts to sell to raise money. Each one had a our distinctive teddy bear logo and the name of the place on it. I had about six of them and my family each had one; I had raised a lot of money for that stupid place. I gathered them all up and next time we went to a baseball game I distributed them to the homeless people who ask for money on the way to the ballpark. They were grateful and I felt good.

I'd just start feeling better and then every time a significant date in the past year has come around, I have found myself getting depressed all over again. Since the end of the school year is upon us, there are lots of activities I'm missing,so its been kind of hard. My sweet hub has been doing his best to keep me busy.

We've been going to lots of baseball games and the Giants have been winning like crazy. This thrilled me and raised my spirits. I love my Mighty Gigantes and my favorite player, Tim Lincecum. Plus all the other players in orange and black. For most of the spring, I was getting along rather well...and then the Giants started losing. Whatever buoyed them in the beginning of this year seems to have leaked out like air from a tire, or a whoopee cushion. I started getting sad again.

There's oil flowing into the Gulf of Mexico, they've hired a permanent replacement for me, and the Giants are losing - how low can you go? Then last night we went to the Giant's game with some college friends. It was fun and Timmy was pitching so we were expecting a win. Unfortunately, Timmy had a really off night. Really,really off. Plus their bats ran out of hits. The Giants lost and Timmy seemed so sad I wanted to hug him and make it all better then put all the bats in a pile for the rest of the Giants and burn them and order new ones with hits in them. So last night sucked, even though it was great to see our old friends.

And then on the way back to our car, we crossed the Lefty O'Doul bridge where its usually a mini shopping mall for Panda hats, ball caps and 'Let Tim Smoke' t- shirts. Last night, though, there were very few salespeople there, just one panda hat vendor and a couple of homeless guys on the corner with a guitar and a harmonica in front of an open guitar case with a sign asking for "beer money - no lie". We'd already handed out all of our donation dollars so we started to skirt around them when my hub said "Look..."

I responded with my customary "Huh?" and he said "Look at the guy with the guitar." so I did. And there, playing a credible tune, was a skinny, haggard-looking man with no front teeth and a billy goat beard, singing "I need money for beer and weed!" And wearing a sweatshirt with a distinctive teddy bear logo and the name of the stupid place that fired me on it. We gave him some money and I kept the laughter to a low roar until we were out of their proximity, and then I really let go. I'm still laughing today - beer and weed and teddy bears.

So I will feel better, Timmy will get his groove back, the Giants will start hitting again and somehow, someway, they'll get that oil stopped and cleaned up. All ya gotta do is wait out the bad times - the good times will return. And as for that stupid place that fired me...what goes around, comes around. Beer and weed and teddy bears.Ha!