Secon Chance

The other day I nearly had an out of body experience while I was in the shower. I was washing the goo off my face when my spidey sense started tingling. I turned around and there was a gigantic spider trying (and failing) to climb up the side of the tub. My initial response was to jump out of my skin and drown him, but then I remembered that I think everyone deserves a second chance so I took a deep breath and opened the window next to me. Then I got a tube of body wash (aka soap) and let the spider crawl onto it.

After the bug was safely ensconced on my tube, I carefully conveyed it to the window where I shook it to the ground. Or the maw of some waiting predator...It occured to me later that the spider could have easily jumped off the tube ( I hate when they do that) and lowered itself on a web. In which case, it could have easily gotten stuck to my wet skin.

If that had happened, I would have run full tilt boogie, stark raving naked out my front door into my front yard, screaming. My neighbor would have called the police and when they showed up, I would have had to explain to the cop what the hell I was doing naked and wet in my front yard with a spider stuck to me. That would have been embarassing. And cold.

Nevertheless, I still believe in second chances. Like this weekend, I was watching football and I actually found myself rooting for Michael Vick. Yeah, the same Michael Vick who tortured dogs and ran a dogfighting kennel. He was convicted and spent a couple of years in prison. I personally think he got off kind of easy, but he did the time he was given and he's out now.

Michael Vick is an athlete and has found himself a job as an NFL quarterback. He's probably getting paid a buttload of cash, but that's what people in his line of work get paid. He shouldn't be given a pass for his horrific crimes and he wasn't. But he should get a second chance. Like my spider.

Here's the deal, though, if that arachnid ever shows his face in my tub again I might have to squash him into a pile of eight legged gunk and wash him down the drain. How will I know its him? Well, spiders are territorial and it takes a lot of spider chow to grow one of them up to the almost tarantula size this bad boy had attained. Odds are good that my spider is the only one of his size in the immediate vicinity. So I'll know if its him.

And if Michael Vick ever gets more agressive with a dog than giving it a belly rub, his football career should be squashed and he should be washed down whatever passes for a drain in the penal system. Maybe he could have to pick the dead, wet spider off me. If that ever happens for real.